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avesnave
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Name: Eva
Country: United States
State: Tennessee
Metro: Nashville
Birthday: 11/12/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Riding horses, doing calculus (yeah right), partying (party girl right here....), making fun of Alex, making fun of Najla, being made fun of by Jeremy, chilling with the "lunch bunch", going to china (only 10 more months!), loving azns and pasta and Al Franken
Expertise: Being cool, Riding horses, passing for 23
Occupation: Student
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/22/2004
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| Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker,
but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't
even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he
was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of
water on the side table. And,
next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean
and pressed. He looks
around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye
staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices
a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in
lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot
breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of
your
mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and
then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when
you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such
perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is
on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time . .. PRICELESS | | |
| Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Additionally today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its head-less
body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
hearts, because it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However,
they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage. I was almost successful today
in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the
top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog definitely receives special privileges. He is
regularly released - and yet seems to be more than willing to return. He
is obviously retarded! And the bird has got to be an informant. I
observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that
he reports on my every move and my captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell. So he is safe.... for now.
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1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal sta tement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong " , for the woman's response refer to #3.
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| Oh my goodness! It has been toooo long since I've updated all you readers...aka Magistra!!!
Quick update:
-Summer = three choices, first session summer school, FULL session summer school or Reasearch at GA Southern University in microbiology
-Randy has graduated and is looking for a job. He wants to be a highschool teacher next fall
-my mom is in china for 2 weeks with my sis and bro in law
-My dearest friend emily hwang hasn't spoken to me in two months ever since she stood me up (AGAIN) at my party. I guess we have lost our friendship. however, I have had my cousin's cousin (the other side) and his girlfriend CLAIM me as their new best friend. and they rock. woo!
- Super Bowl party this weekend... there was some smashing of people... as in people got smashed (not me tho lol).
-I am working for The Princeton Review as an ACT teacher, pretty good money at $25 a hour
-Found out my beloved Kelly dog may have liver cancer
-Bought a horses **SHOCK!** but seriously, it is a shock cause she is registered with the AQHA and not the POA...I swore I'd never own one...I changed my mind 
-the people who work at my apartment office are the shiznit!
Here's something I found:
Three Things
Three things that scare me:
1: Being walked out on
2: When randy hides behind the corner and jumps out at me
3: being upside down underwater
Three people who make me laugh:
1: Katie and Jenny- pretty much cuz they are crazies
2: Joanna- altho I tend to make her laugh when she's drinking something and then she almost spits it out
3: Randy- especially when we wrestle on the floor or when he says funny things like "I'm a whale...'mooooo'"
Three Things I love:
1: My Baby- Randy muahz!!!
2: My friends and family, they cheer up a blah day
3: Living in Nashville
Three Things I hate:
1: Living in an apartment
2: REDLIGHT CAMERAS
3: Playing Halo
Three things I don't understand:
1: My roommate. He goes from nice to douche in 2.7 seconds
2: The Krebs Cycle
3: How to hook the X-Box up to the projector in order to play the TV show AND have sound all at the same time....
Three things on my desk:
1: Tape
2: 20 Questions game-THIS THING Is ALWAYS RIGHT!!
3: Eagle Scout award (ok, so it's not MY desk)
Three things I'm doing right now:
1: listening to Randy's rock music
2: Trying to keep my legs from falling asleep
3: Procrastinating ALL the crap that's due this week
Three things I want to do before I die:
1: Sky Dive
2: Travel and enjoy the world while shaping it.
3: Become someone's hero
Three things I can do:
1: Pull an A in UT's hardest course...then a B in one of the easiest...
2: Take someone else's good idea and make it into reality (I just can't come up with the idea)
3: Kick ass in Performance Events at horse shows
Three ways to describe my personality:
1: Truthful- it is sooo hard to lie to people, ESPECIALLY If I know them
2: I can't Console someone when I don't believe in what they are doing
3: Intuition when someone needs a hug or needs to talk. I like to be the shoulder to cry on
Three things I can't do:
1: Beat Randy at ANY video game (except Sonic the Hedgehog)
2: Find meaning or any beauty in Wuthering Heights
3: Play Golf without almost breaking the club | | |
| Christmas Survey..
Welcome to the 2006 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends! You know the drill. Don't be a scrooge!!!
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Choc-o-late!
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
umm... stocking, unwrapped
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
I'd have to say both
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
If I can get some
5. When do you put your decorations ?
About a week after Thanksgiving. (None of this bullshit Christmas stuff at Halloween. ONE holiday at a time people...PLEASE!)
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Sweet Potato Casserole
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
Playing Monopoly and Catchphrase with everyone while eating the famous chips w/ homemade dip
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I was with my mom when she and my Aunt Edith were shopping for "santa" presents. And they were like "shhh don't tell anyone about this"
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
ALWAYS! We open all of the family aka NON-santa gifts on Christmas Eve
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
with lights and ornaments!
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Love it...if it's gonna be cold, it might as well snow
12. Can you ice skate?
i can, i'm not exactly good at it
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
My Roller-Skater Chick doll that came with stickers and stamps and cool stuff
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
family and food
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
chocolate chess pie
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
MONOPOLY!
17. What tops your tree?
angel
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving?
I like to give becuase I always get crappy presents.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
Mary Did you know and Joy to the world (because I can play it on the piano!)
20. Candy Canes!
is this a question? If so, I like them alright....but I'd rather have chocolate
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